新标准新要求--谈获得高分的高考英语书面表达特性
新颁行的普通高中《英语课程标准(实验稿)》明确指出,写作教学的目的是通过对学生激活灵感、激发兴趣、整理思路、组织素材、规划结构、遣词造句等基本写作技能的培养,使他们能表达事实、观点、情感、想象力、交流信息,培养规范的写作习惯……。与以往的《英语教学大纲》中规定的能在日常生活中,写简单的书信和通知,书写格式和行文,以及词语无严重错误的要求相比,新课程标准规定的写作要求提高了一个新的层次,更加突出了对谋篇布局,遣词造句,情感表达的要求。本文依据新课程标准对写作提出的新要求,并结合实际经验,谈谈获得高分的高考英语书面表达五大特性:
一、条理性
条理性是指要合理布局文章结构,首先,在文章思路、组织材料、叙述顺序等方面要有一定的条理性。例如:题目要求写一篇叙述文,可以按照事情发展的先后顺序来写,若介绍某一场所,可按照空间顺序来安排行文顺序;若是一篇议论文,就应该按照所议论观点顺序来安排结构。全文结构应注意首尾呼应,前后相联。其次,根据需要安排好段落,各段之间要层次分明,每一段落的开头和结尾也要重视,开头语往往是总起句,结尾往往是总结句。
例如:2001年高考英语书面表达范文:
Dear Dick,
How nice to hear from you again. You want to know what is going on in schools in China? In short, things have begun to improve since schools were called on to reduce the learning load. I don't know about others, but I used to have to work even at weekends doing endless homework and attending classes as well. Now I have more free time, I can follow my own interests such as reading books, visiting museurns, and taking computer lessons. In the evenings I can watch news on TV or read newspapers. What's more, I can go to bed earlier. As far as I know, everyone is happy about this new arrangement of things.
Li Hua
二、准确性
准确性是指要求写出语法正确的句子,包括对态、语态、用词和句法等,但是不少考生由于受汉语思维习惯的影响,在写作时自觉不自觉地产生不规范的表达。要做到准确。地道地表达文章,首先必须要牢记掌握一些常用句型或习惯表达,避免中文式英语,在实践中不断总结中英表达差异,养成用英语思维写作的习惯。试体会下面句子汉英表达上的差异。
(1)我等待着你的到来。
错误或失误: I'm waiting for you to come.
修改意见: I'm looking forward to your arrival.
(NMET 2003范文)
(2)现在我详细地给你介绍屋子的情况。
错误或失误:Now I am going to introduce the room to you carefully.
修改意见:Now I am going tog give you a detailed description of the room.(NMET 2003范文)
(3)工人们热烈欢迎我们来参观农场。
错误或失误:The worker welcomed us to visit the farm.
修改意见:The worker gave us a warm welcome.
(NMET 1998范文)
其次,要多读多背,在精读中汲取营养,对于好的句子最好背诵下来,适时用于写作训练中。其中,英语中的一些常识性语句就是非常典型的背诵材料。如:在写通知时,
开头语:Attention, please./May I have your attention, please?/I'll have an announcement to make.
结尾语:Don't forget the time and the address./I'm sure you'll have a lot of fun./That's all, thank you.
在写参观欢迎词时,开头语:Welcome to our city./Now let me tell you something about our school.
结尾语:I'm sure you'll have a good trip. That's all. Thank you.
写(回)信时,开头语:I am glad to hear from you./I'm writing to tell you something about…/How are you getting along with your studies?/I really don't know how to thank you for your…
结尾语:Please give my best regards to…/I'm looking forward to hearing from you soon…/Remember me to your parents等。
正确牢记这些惯用语,无疑可以增添句子表达的准确性,减少不必要的错误,从而提高书面表达的档次。
三、流畅性
流畅性是指根据整篇文章意思的需要,有效采用不同的连接手段,以使文章层次清晰,行文连贯。关联词就是常用的连接手段之
1.表示平行、对等或选择关系
and,both…and,as well as,neither…nor,also,not only.…but also
2.表示转折关系
but,yet, however,nevertheless,in spite of,although,otherwise,while
3.表示对比关系
on the contrary,instead of, on the other hand,just like,unlike
4.表示因果关系
so,for,therefore,as a resut,because,owing to,due to,thanks to,on account of
5.表示时间、顺序关系
shorty after, first, second…, then, next, finally, for one thing, for another thing, in the end, eventually
6.表示递进、强调关系
besides,furthermore,what's more,inaddition, moreover,worse still, above all,to make matters worse
7.表示解释、说明关系
namely, actually, such as, for example, for instance,that is to say,in other words,and so on,to tell you the truth,according to this
8.表示结论
in short,in brief,in a word, in general,as you know,as far as I know,on the whole
这些关联词的恰当使用无疑能使全文过渡自然,令读者对后续的句子产生心理的期待和准备,增强句子间的逻辑性和紧凑性。本文前面刊载的NMET 2001书面表达范文,就使用了许多关联词(见范文划线处)。
四、简洁多样性
简洁性就是做到语言简洁,不重复。多样性就是能随情景内容的变化写出句式多样的语句。新课程标准中写作的评价标准,强调了语言表达的能力:语言结构和词汇要丰富。因此,在确保行文准确流畅的前提下,需要文字清新简洁,语句灵活多变,使文章的语言结构更加丰富多彩。我们可以采用以下几种方式:
1.合理利用介词或名词代替动词,能有效降低句子的复杂性,在令句子通顺自然的同时,也能减少语法错误。试体会下面黑体部分被括号内词语替代后的效果。
(1)The flat has an area of 25 square metres and there is a bedroom, a bathroom, and a kitchen, (with)
(2)1 was pleased to hear from you and am writing to tell you something that has taken place in our school, (about)
(3)1 have a surprise to give you. (for)
2.使用短语结构来简化或合并短句。常用的结构由介词短语、名词短语、非谓语动词、独立主格结构、同位语等结构。
(1) The young man pointed to a policeman not far away and said, "He stopped us an hour ago and told us to catch the offender".
修改意见: Pointing to a policeman not far away, the young man explained, "He stopped us an hour ago and told us to catch the offender. "(NMET 1997范文)
(2) My brother was riding the bike and I sat on the seat behind him.
修改意见:My brother was riding the bike with me sitting on the seat behind. (NMET1997)
3. 通过合句,将意义相关的几个句子,用一定的连接方式连接起来,或通过紧缩,去掉一些多余的成分可以避免冗长累赘,松散无力,使句子凝炼,层次清晰。
(1) I was walking along Park Road towards the east. At that time, an elderly man came out of the park on the other side of the street.
修改意见 :I was walking along Park Road towards the east when an elderly man came out of the park on the other side of the street. (NMET 2000 范文)
(2) The flat is in a building on Fangcao Street. It is not far from Jianxin Chinese School.
修改意见 : The flat is in a building on Fangcao Street, which is not far from Jianxin Chinese School. (NMET 2003 范文)
(3) I can follow my own interests. I can read books, visit museums and take computer lessons.
修改意见:I can follow my own interests. Such as reading books, visiting museums and taking computer lessons. (NMET 2001范文)
4.尝试改变句子的开头方式,不要一味地都是主语开头,接着是谓语、宾语,最后再加一个状语。要灵活运用诸如倒装句、强调句、主从复合句、分词短语等,这样能增加文章的节奏和韵律美。
(1) We met at the school gate and went there together early in the morning.
修改意见: Early in the morning we met at the school gate and went there together.(NMET 1998范文)
(2) We had to stand there to catch the offender.
修改意见 :What we had to do was stand there to catch the offender. (NMET 1997范文)
(3)Our brave Ah Fu had saved my little sister.
修改意见: It was our brave Ah Fu who had saved my little sister. (NMET 1993 范文)
5. 思想性
新标准对写作的要求,增加了情感因素,在准确流畅表达写作要点的同时,适当增加句子的感情色彩,增加一些人情味,是文章读起来亲切,完全达到与读者进行交流的目的。如:
(1) Do you think you'll like it? If not, I can try and find another flat for you. (NMET 2001 范文)
(表现了作者对朋友尽职尽责的心情,回信由此充满了感情色彩)
(2) As far as I know, everyone is happy about the arrangement of things. (NMET 2001范文)
(表现了作者对减负后的喜悦心情)
(3) I hope you can come to China to watch the Olympic Games in 2008. Then I'II be very happy to be your guide. (NMET 2002北京春季范文)
(表现了作者对朋友的深厚的友谊)
五、1997---2004年春书面表达真题再现:
2004北京春招:
请按照下面6幅图的提示和所提供的主题句,写一篇题为"Changes in Our Life"的英语短文。词数100左右。
Changes in Our Life
Over the past twenty years or so, great changes have taken place in our life. Take my family for example. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
One possible version
Changes In Our Life
Over the past twenty years or so, great changes have taken place in our life. Take my family for example. My parents contacted others mainly by sending them letters in the past, but now we call long distance at home. And once my parents listened to the radio for news and other information, but now we watch the news and other programs on TV. Another big change is in the housing conditions. When they got married about twenty years ago, my parents lived in a small room crowded with furniture, but now we have moved into a big new three-room apartment. In short, changes in our life in the past twenty years have brought us comfort and convenience.
2003 NMET:
假设你是李华,你的英国笔友Bob将于九月到你所在城市的建新华文学校学中文,来信请你在学校附近为他找一套住房。请根据图画提供的信息,写信介绍住房的情况,并告知住房面积为25平方米,月租500元。
注意:1.词数:100左右。
2.参考词汇:房租-rent(n .)。
Dear Bob:
I'm so glad to learn that you're coming in September. I've found a place for you. It's a small flat of 25 square metres, with a bedroom, a bathroom and a kitchen. In the bedroom there is a bed, a sofa, a desk and a chair. The rent is 500 Yuan per month. The flat is in a building on Fangcao Street, which is not far from Jianxin Chinese School. Bus No. 11 Can take you straight to the school. In fact, it is only one stop. Do you think you'd like it? If not, I can try and find another place for you. Just let me know.
Yours,
Li Hua
2003北京春招:
为了响应38年前毛主席提出的"向雷锋同志学习"的号召,配合北京迎"奥运"宣传活动,光明中学组织了一次到某汽车站的学雷锋活动。请根据以下6幅图画,用英语写一篇日记。
注意:1.词数100左右;
2.日记的开头与结尾已为你写好。
生词:奥运知识竞赛:general knowledge quiz on the Olympic Games
Tuesday, March 5, 2002 Fine
Thirty-eight years ago, the late Chairman Mao called on us to learn from Lei Feng. To mark the occasion, we organized an activity at a nearby bus station today.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Today's activity has taught us the new meaning of the spirit of Lei Feng: Sharing with others what you have - your time, energy, or knowledge - makes you feel warm in your heart. It has truly made a difference in how I feel about myself.
One possible version:
Tuesday, March 5, 2002 Fine
Thirty-eight years ago, the late Chairman Mao called on us to learn from Lei Feng. To mark the occasion, we organized an activity at a nearby bus station today.
At 8 o'clock in the morning, we arrived at the 712 bus station, where we were warmly welcomed by the drivers and conductors.
Then we broke up into several groups. Some of us taught some drivers and conductors English, while others cleaned the buses. Still others directed traffic at the crossroads near the bus station and helped the elderly cross the street.
Staff members of the bus station and our classmates then took part in a general knowledge quiz on the Olympic Games in the afternoon, which was great fun for both sides. Around four o'clock, we said goodbye to one another, and felt very happy on the way home.
Today's activity has taught us the new meaning of the spirit of Lei Feng: Sharing with others what you have-your time, energy, or knowledge-makes you feel warm in your heart. It has truly made a difference in how I feel about myself.
2002 北京:
你和李明参加了一次野外生存训练。以下5幅图画表现了野外训练活动的过程,请根据图示写一篇英文日记。
注意:1、词数100左右;2、日记的开头与结尾已为你写好。
生词:指南针:compass n.手电筒:flashlight n.急救包:first-aid kit宿营地:campsite n.
Saturday, May 4, 2002
Li Ming and I took part in a wilderness survival program yesterday, and it has been one of the most unforgettable experiences since high school.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
The two of us spent the night in the forest.
We learned to use knowledge gained in classroom training to solve problems. It was quite an experience for us both, which I'll never forget for the rest of my life.
一、内容要点:1. 出发2. 背包中的物品3. 爬山4. 过河5. 找路6. 宿营
二、说明:
1. 内容要点可用不同方式表达。
2. 对紧扣主题的适当发挥不予扣分。
三、One possible version:
Saturday, May 4, 2002-7-9 cloudy
Li Ming and I took part in a wilderness survival program yesterday, and it has been one of the most unforgettable experiences since high school.
Early in the morning, we set out. Li Ming was carrying a compass and a tent in his backpack, and in mine there was a flashlight, a map, a knife, a first-aid kit, some matches, candles, food, and clothing.
On the way to the campsite, we climbed a hill, and then we swam across a river, pushing the backpacks on a large piece of wood we had found by the river.
As we got into a forest, we lost our way. Luckily, we found the right direction with the compass.
By the time we arrived at the campsite, it had already been dark. Li Ming then put up the tent, and I made a fire and started cooking.
NMET 2002:
最近,你校同学正在参加某英文报组织的一场讨论。讨论的主题是:公园要不要收门票?请你根据下表提供的信息,给报社写一封信,客观地介绍讨论情况。
60%的同学认为 | 40%的同学认为 |
1、不应收门票 2、公园是公众休闲的地方 3、如收票,需建大门、围墙,会影响城市形象 | 1、应收门票,但票价不宜高 2、支付园林工人工资 3、购新花木 |
注意:1、信的开头已为你写好。
2、词数:100左右。
3、参考词汇:门票:entrance fee。
Dear Editor,
I'm writing to tell you about the discussion we've had about whether an entrance fee should be charged for parks.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Yours truly,
Li Hua
One possible version:
Dear Editor,
I'm writing to tell you about the discussion we've had about whether an entrance fee should be charged for parks.
Opinions are divided on the question. 60% of the students are against the idea of entrance fees. They believed a public park should be free of charge. People need a place where they can rest and enjoy themselves. Charging entrance fees will no doubt keep some people away. What is more, it will become necessary to build gates and walls, which will do harm to the appearance of a city.
On the other hand, 40% think that fees should be charged because you need money to pay gardeners and other workers and to buy plants and young trees. They suggest, however, fees should be charged low.
Yours truly,
Li Hua
NMET 2001:
假设你是李华,你的澳大利亚朋友Dick次听说中国的中小学正在减轻学生的学习负担,来信询问有关情况。请你根据了表提供的信息,写一封回信,谈一谈减负给你的学习和生活带来的变化。
注意:l.词数100左右;
2.开头已为你写好。
生词:减轻学习负担一reduce learning load
************************************
Dear Dick,
How nice hear from again
...
Best wishes
Li Hua
One possible version:
Dear Dick,
How nice to hear from you again. You want to know what is going on in schools in China? In short, things have begun to improve since schools were called on to reduce learning load. J don't know about others, but I used to have to work even at weekends doing endless homework and attending classes as well. Now I have more free time. I can follow my own interests such as reading books, visiting museums, and taking computer lessons. In the evenings I can watch news on TV or read newspapers. What's more, I can go to bed earlier. As far as I know, everyone is happy about this new arrangement of things.
Best wishes,
Li Hua
2001北京安徽春招:
假定你是李华,你所在的学校拟在下个月举力美国电影节(American Film Festival)。请你根据以下要点给你的美国朋友Peter写一封短信,邀请他给学生做一次讲座。信的主要内容包括:
1.讲座目的:使学生对美国电影有所了解;
2.讲座内容:简要介绍美国电影(制片)业的历史;
3.讲座时间:1小时30分钟左右。
注意:
1.可以适当增加细节,使结构完整;
2.词数100左右。
********************************************************************
Dear Peter,
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Yours,
Li Hua
One possible version:
Dear Peter,
Our school is planning to hold an American Film Festival next month. I'm writing to ask you to come and give a talk on American films and filmmaking industry. It will help us understand how the industry has developed into big business as it is today. This understanding should go a long was toward increasing their knowledge of American culture in general. Do yiou think one and a half hours will be enough? Please let me know as soon as possible so that I can make arrangements.
I'm looking forward to seeing you and enjoying the talk.
With best wishes,
Yours,
Li Hua
2000 北京安徽春招:
为了丰富外国留学生的生活,你校学生会将举办一次音乐周活动。请你以组织者的身份写一个书面通知书。有关内容如下:
时间:5月第1周
活动:1.演唱歌曲:流行歌曲
2.器乐演奏:古典和民间音乐
3.音乐比赛:听歌曲片断,然后猜出处
地点:届时通知
参加者请于4月20日前报名。
注意:1.书面通知应写成一篇连贯的短文;
2.可以适当增减细节;
3.词数100左右;
4.通知格式已为你写好;
5.生词:古典 - classical 民间 - folk 乐器 - musical instruments 比赛 - contest
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
April 10,2000
Dear students,
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
……
Come to the great fun!
One possible version:
Dear students,
The Students Union has decided to organise a music week. It will be held in the first week of May. The activities include singing pop songs and playing classical and folk music. Bring your own musical instruments, please. A music contest will be included, too. The students taking part in the contest will listen to part of a song or a piece of music, and then guess where it comes from. If you'd like to take part in the music week, please come and sign up for it before April 20th. The place for the activities will be announced later.
Come to the great fun!
Students Union
NMET2000:
假设你是李华,在美国探亲。2000年2月8日清晨,你的目击一起交通事故。警察局让你写一份材料,报告当时所见情况。根据下列图画写出报告。
注意:1、目击者应该准确报告事实;
2、词数100左右;
3、结尾已为你写好。
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
About two minutes later I stopped a passing car and took the old man to the nearest hospital.
Li Hua
One possible version:
It was 7:15 on the morning of February 8,2000. It was walking along Park Road towards the east when an elderly man came out of the park on the other side of the street. Then I saw a yellow car drive up Third Street and make a right turn into Park Road. The next moment the car hit the man while he was crossing the road. He fell with a cry. The car didn't stop but drove off at great speed heading west. I noticed the driver was a young woman and the plate number was AC864. About two minutes later I stopped a passing car and took the old man to the nearest hospital.
Li Hua
NMET1999:
假设你是李华,在一所中学读书。最近收到美国朋友Smith先生的来信:他三年前参观过你校。听说现在变化很大,希望了解有关情况,参照下图,给他写一封回信,介绍你校的变化。
1. 回信须包括图画的主要内容,可以适当增减细节,使内容连贯;
2.词数100左右。
One possible version :
July9
Dear Mr Smith:
I was so p1eased to hear from you and am writing to tel1 you something about my school. You are right. Quite a few changes have taken place. On one side of the rond there is a new c1assroom building. On the other side, where the playground used to be now stands another new building一our library. In it there are all kinds of books,newspapers and magazines. The plapy ground is now in front of the schoo1. We have also planted a lot of trees in and a round the school. I hope you come and see for yourself some day.
Best wishes.
yours
Li Hua
NMET 1998:
5月3日,你参观了一个农场。请根据下列图画用英语写一篇日记。
注意:1.日记须包括所有图画的内容,可以适当增减细节,使日记连贯; 2.词数100左右。
One possible version:
Today we visited a farm. Early in the morning we met at the school gate and went there together. The farm workers gave us a warm welcome. Then the head of the farm showed us around. How glad we were to see the crops and vegetables growing well. At noon we had a picnic lunch in the sunshine. After a short rest, we had great fun singing and dancing, telling jokes or stories. Two of us even played a game of chess. The time passed quickly. Before we knew it, we had to say goodbye to the workers.
NMET1997:
下列图画描述的是你的一段亲身经历,请据此为一家中学生英文报的故事专栏写一篇短文。
注意:1. 短文必须包括图画所表现的主要内容,可以适当增减细节,使其连贯、完整;
2. 叙述必须用第一人称;
3. 词数100左右。
生词:违章者--offender n.
十字路口--crossroads n.
One possible version:
The other day my brother and I went to the cinema by bicycle. My brother was riding with me sitting on the seat behind. As we came to the crossroads a young man and a girl came up and stopped us. 'We've found you at long last,' they said. But we didn't know them. Pointing to a policeman not far away, the young man explained, He stopped us about half an hour ago and made us catch the next offender. So come on, stand here. Hope you don't have to wait as long as we did . Good luck.